I am whO I am :)
- yiNyiN...
- I'm here to sincerely share my honest thoughts of life. I believe and I know that there will still be hope and sunshine for everyone including myself, even during down moments. So, never give up in life, no matter what happens :)
I can no longer ignore the fact that the future is there.. Haunting me.
I can no longer ignore the fact that we don't leave in a world of fantasy..
I can no longer ignore the fact that to have a favorable future, I have to start working on it now.
I can no longer ignore the fact that this is life, and we don't always stay the same..
I can no longer ignore the fact that mind is one powerful tool that brings people to different levels
I can no longer ignore the fact that I have to work more, and play less..
I can no longer ignore the fact that I let people to affect me because I know they are right..
I can no longer ignore the fact that I may lose myself in the process... because I need to grow up..
I can no longer ignore the fact that I am afraid, and this fear is bringing me nowhere but losing opportunities everywhere..
I can no longer ignore the fact that.. it is about time.. to change..
I saw this quote in Instagram, and I find it really meaningful and suitable for my condition now...
Don't limit your future because of the fear you have now
That person who cares for you more than yourself.
That person who is always there for you.
That person who can make you smile no matter what situation you're dealing with.
That person who listens to you whenever you have something to say.
That person whom you can talk anything to, just like a best friend.
That person who protects you.
That person who loves you not for your appearance.
That person whom you can be yourself all the time.
That person... I have found him :)
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| That special someone... |
I got to say that I cannot seem to follow the advice of this quote. I know we all have to just enjoy the moment in the present, not look back nor stress about the future that has yet to arrive. But the voice in me just had to constantly remind me always that I have to be prepared of the future. I learn from the past, not wanting the bad memories to repeat... And yes, I do live in the present and try to make the most of it. But, I cannot not stress about the future even though it has not arrived yet.
Future... to me, is one really big world out there which is waiting for me.
I need to imagine and prepare for it.
I need to ensure that I am not all lost when my future arrives.
I want to give the best I can in the future.
Why am I studying and learning right now? They're all for the future right? So how can I not stress about them. Every single thing I do, I think about how it will affect me in the future.
To me, the unknown world of future has been in my head for a long long time. I was just too scared to face it as I know once I know that I have to face it, I need to work my ass off, and less playing time for me. I was all oblivious whenever my mind starts thinking about the future. But I know it's no time for me to do that anymore. Time waits for nobody. The longer I drag or ignore the fact, the worse my future will be. I need to get prepared for whatever I do... Learn the most I can while I have the chance to. Nobody else is going to be there guiding you step by step. I have to stand on my own two feet and survive in the cruel world out there.
I need to get my senses back and face it. The future.....
In the drama, whenever we get cheated by people we put our trust in, everything just seem so dark and hard. Most of us will end up feeling dejected, hopeless and as if that we have nothing good left. Depending on people make us feel disappointed at times, so we end up being independent, but for being independent for a long time, a feeling of tiredness and wanting to just lean on someone come across to mind. It's sad, but true. That's what the drama shows, and I too can feel it so deep inside myself. I'm carrying this confusion back and forth. Till now, I have no idea on what to really believe in.
Should I let myself to depend on others?
Should I believe in them fully without any doubt?
Be 100% sure that I will never get hurt again?
My heart wants to do that, but my brain just won't allow me.
Expectations increase every time we trust someone. And disappointments just get even bigger once it doesn't meet our expectations.
#1 Bungee jumping
Afraid but still wants to experience bungee jump at least once. I wanna know how it feels to fly in sky and just free fall... And I'm curious what comes in mind at that moment
Afraid but still wants to experience bungee jump at least once. I wanna know how it feels to fly in sky and just free fall... And I'm curious what comes in mind at that moment
#2 Driving
This is one great desire for me. Got my license but lost confidence in driving somehow. I know how much I'm missing out because I can't just go wherever I want to myself. Depending and burdening people to send me everywhere doesn't make me feel any better. One day I will drive with no fear, without anyone beside me, all by myself going anywhere I want to.. :)
This is one great desire for me. Got my license but lost confidence in driving somehow. I know how much I'm missing out because I can't just go wherever I want to myself. Depending and burdening people to send me everywhere doesn't make me feel any better. One day I will drive with no fear, without anyone beside me, all by myself going anywhere I want to.. :)
#3 Lying down on a road at night
Well, for this I've done it before in my college xD. But wants to lie for a really long time staring at the stars without worrying that cars are going to pass by... I love that feeling <3
Well, for this I've done it before in my college xD. But wants to lie for a really long time staring at the stars without worrying that cars are going to pass by... I love that feeling <3
#4 Watching sunset and sunrise in an awesome view
I've always feel that sunset and also sunrise are one of the most beautiful scenery ever! They just give you that warm feeling which I really long for.. a lot~ And watching it with a special someone gives more meaning to it :)
#5 Going to the beach at night time
Went to the beach few times already, but always during the day time. Beach is nice, except for that hot sun and the amount of people with the noise and stuffs. Feel like going there just to relax when there's nobody. Wants to feel like I own the beach or something. And lie on the soft sand, walking along the beach... Peacefully and also having fun with people I go with at the same time :)
#6 Get soaked in a rainy day
Just getting wet without worrying that you'll fall sick or how ugly you look when your hairs and clothes are wet, play and dance under the rain like there's no tomorrow... I'll do this one day, for sure!
#7 Hug someone real long
I really love hugs. It just gives me a secure feeling that I'm not alone and I still have somebody to count on. But of course, not a random hug with a stranger... I would really want to hug someone I can depend on, someone who knows and understands how I feel without me telling the whole story, someone who hug me when I have a hard time....
#8Attending SS501 or Kim Hyun Joong concert
I've said that I wanna leave K-POP. But for loving SS501 and also Kim Hyun Joong that much, my only dream is to attend either of their concert at least once, so that it gives a sense of satisfaction which I can bring along to my whole life even when I'm no longer in love with K-Pop :) Hope I can be there with a green light stick and cheer for him/them with the other fans :D
I've always feel that sunset and also sunrise are one of the most beautiful scenery ever! They just give you that warm feeling which I really long for.. a lot~ And watching it with a special someone gives more meaning to it :)
#5 Going to the beach at night time
Went to the beach few times already, but always during the day time. Beach is nice, except for that hot sun and the amount of people with the noise and stuffs. Feel like going there just to relax when there's nobody. Wants to feel like I own the beach or something. And lie on the soft sand, walking along the beach... Peacefully and also having fun with people I go with at the same time :)
#6 Get soaked in a rainy day
Just getting wet without worrying that you'll fall sick or how ugly you look when your hairs and clothes are wet, play and dance under the rain like there's no tomorrow... I'll do this one day, for sure!
#7 Hug someone real long
I really love hugs. It just gives me a secure feeling that I'm not alone and I still have somebody to count on. But of course, not a random hug with a stranger... I would really want to hug someone I can depend on, someone who knows and understands how I feel without me telling the whole story, someone who hug me when I have a hard time....
#8Attending SS501 or Kim Hyun Joong concert
I've said that I wanna leave K-POP. But for loving SS501 and also Kim Hyun Joong that much, my only dream is to attend either of their concert at least once, so that it gives a sense of satisfaction which I can bring along to my whole life even when I'm no longer in love with K-Pop :) Hope I can be there with a green light stick and cheer for him/them with the other fans :D
But what's in my mind is, is fear real? Or is it from within? I have definitely experience fear and I'm sure everyone has too. Fear is what brings us backward, or static in life. With fear in our mind, we can't move forward or improve ourselves in many ways. It restricts us both physically and mentally. We think about the possibilities that might happen in the future when it hasn't even happened.; worrying and fearing it'll come true. It's amazing how our minds can play such tricks to us, so even if it's not easy, we need to control our minds to stop being in fear.
So much facts of fear... Knowing the truth about them, yet I can't seem to overcome fear in my own life. There are many fears in my life. One of the main ones right now is the fear of losing people I love in my life. It's scary that when we grow up, many things seem to be realistic. Or in other words, more important and vivid things are seen and experienced. It's always awesome being kids in their own fantasy world, not knowing what they'll face later on. Realization happens when we mature? Or when we think too much? I don't know. But bring this age, knowing that I'll be an adult anytime soon, I'm in fear of losing people whom I love.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Dell Inspiron 14R looks really awesome right? This is my first laptop I've actually owned and before I knew it... It's been a nightmare since owning it. After a year owning it, it's been almost(or even more) 10 times the technician has come just to repair my dear laptop. From hard disk, cooling fan, wifi card, USB ports, keypad, motherboard and other problems... Wow, I have to say. I'm like so used to calling Dell already.. Well, I wouldn't mind actually.. Since during the past 1 year it's been like free repair.. The only annoying part is that my laptop always becomes so 'brand new' that I have to always bear with it.
Here comes the real problem now. It's warranty just ended last January.. Since it's been a year~ And so..... My hard disk has a problem now~ And I called Dell.. As usual, they'll check the error and blah blah... But this time a little different as I need to ask the price~ And she said it costs RM750 to extend the warranty for a year or else the technician won't come~ It feels like a crap joke. What the crap~?? RM750!? I would rather buy a new better laptop which cost me RM1000++
I used to and now still am thinking in a positive way. Maybe it isn't that bad that my laptop's encountering all kinds of problems.. I can learn from it at least, since I'm studying in IT. Even now although the problem gives me big headache, I can learn how to repair my own computer and know what to do at least. Buying a new hard drive and replace it, without the help of Dell~
But the issue here is that I do wonder if it always the laptop problem or that it's mine. The technician told me that this laptop is more sensitive by its nature, that the hard drive is really near to some(I forgot what he's said) system, so it gets overheat quickly. And that Dell's motherboard and stuffs are now mostly China made product. This made me think twice before I buy another laptop from Dell ever again. They may have the best customer service but if their products are like that......
P/s: Dell, the smartest choice ever? I would wanna think twice...